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Uh, I hate my job.

After the completely horrible Sunday I had at work, I was really considering not going back yesterday. I was on the verge of tears sometime in the late afternoon Sunday just because I know I can't work retail for very much longer, I can't deal with people's stupid shit and the arrogant prick of a manger for much longer, they don't pay me enough. I know that any place I work will have problems. But I so need to get out of retail. I am not a people person, and trying to bite my tongue in order to not yell at customers is a hazard to my health. But I went back Monday, not because I wanted to, or because I decided I liked my job, but I need the money. And no matter how hard it is, I'm not quitting until I get another job. They'll just have to fire me if they want me gone.
It's days like Sunday, and Monday where a boyfriend would be nice to have. You know a nice comfy boyfriend to comfort me after a really bad day like that. Normally, I don't need it. I'm good enough at keeping myself together, but those days where it takes too much to make myself feel normal, those days it'd be nice. Although, I've been noticing a lot lately the guys around me. Sort of a prepratory glance around just to make myself ready, for when I'm ready - if that makes sense. When I saw Cliff after two years at the concert Saturday I remember how nice it was to be around him. He was always a really great hugger. Always good at making me relaxed when I was with him. But just watching him for a few moments made me realize I didn't miss him that much. I mean after two years, seeing him one night was great. But I wouldn't want to make it a regular occurance, that would seem to spoil the fun. Or something. Just little things like that, trains of thought I don't normally follow about cute guys, or nice guys...what have you. One of these days I'll be ready. Just not yet.
Speaking of the concert on Saturday, it was awesome. My brain was fried later, but it was a nice night. shadowfell and I had dinner at Chili's before the concert, and then we managed to find the club's backdoor so we were among the first people inside. Good thing to it was damn cold outside waiting for the doors to open. We managed to meet some mostly normal girls at the doors though, so we had nice people to talk to while we waited. Once inside we had our pick of seats being the first few people inside, and we grabbed some stools on the side balcony with a great view of the stage. The opening band The Tuesday Project was alright I guess. They seemed to have some problems with beat and key when they started, but once they got comfortable playing, it wasn't bad. Although some squeaky speakers ruined some songs. However once Evanescence came on stage, all was forgotten of the openers. Amy was slightly gothicly dressed, corset and fishnets always help with that look. They sang all but two songs off their cd. The two they left out being slow songs requireing a piano or keyboard, neither of which they had. It's too bad that they've got all these great sounds in their songs that just can't be achieved live. But they still managed to pull of a great show. The club was completely packed, it would have easily fit into Memorial Hall, the smallest of the bigger concert venues outside clubs or bars. I'm not sure that sentence made sense.
Everything considered it hasn't been a bad few days, I just so want/need a new job. I think much longer in retail might actually drive me crazy. I know I say I am a lot, but I'm not where I could be if I keep headed in this direction. Retail might actually make me insane. Let's hope that doesn't happen.