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Links about Deep Topics

Thanks go to balloonhat for the link to
MWF Seeking BFF, an interesting blog about a woman looking for a BFF. Here's the thing - friendships are HARD, yo. I mentioned in a comment elsewhere, that I think it's one of THE TOUGHEST things about growing up. We lose friends, or find that one person is always doing the work, or we're not friends like we thought we were, or we're in different places in our lives...the list goes on. We have to learn to compartmentalize our friendships - we grow up, and find out that we have to have friends for certain occasions. It doesn't necessarily mean losing friends, but sometimes it means that you only call certain friends for certain things. I agree with the writer at the blog though - I consider the idea of a BFF - someone you can call on a whim. It doesn't mean they're always available, but that you have no trouble thinking about calling them. You know they like it when you call, even if they're unavailable, and they feel the same way about you. THAT is hard to find, and harder to keep as you get older. I'm very lucky to have some really great friends, and I've remarked often to Matthew about how lucky I feel. It hasn't always been that way - and it took me a long time to figure out how much some of my past friendships were BAD for me.

It's one of those things I could talk about forever, because I think it ties heavily in with my idea that you have to be able to ask yourself the HARD QUESTIONS. You have to know, really know, why you interact with people a certain way, where your triggers are, and be able to say no to some things and acknowledge what is best for you.

Deep post is deep today.

Also, bookshop posted yesterday about Silence, Consent, and Rape. Warning that the majority of that posts, and the posts it links to, it might be triggers for some people.

I talked about reading Odd Girl Out a long while back (2006? wow), and how the book deals with a lot of issues about how girls are raised to be girly, how we're taught to act differently, and how certain personality aspects are expected. So, I'm going to link this post by Fugitivus directly because I think it's important. How girls are treated and raised and the things we learn to expect, and learn to show at younger ages not only effects our relationship with men, but with women. And the ideas are not mutually exclusive, those relationships can be similar and the results of interactions can be similar. The difference is how women will respond to those relationships or about mistreatment from one gender or another.

Another one I wanted to link directly is this link about marriage relationships and the difference between how the genders view sex in a relationship/marriage.

Comments

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dolorosa_12
May. 12th, 2010 09:52 pm (UTC)
Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for these links. For various reasons, I wish people would say stuff like this more, and that views such as those expressed in the posts you linked to weren't considered marginal.
cherith
May. 13th, 2010 12:24 am (UTC)
Agreed. I found the one about marriage especially interesting to think about, from my own married perspective.
blaizewind
May. 13th, 2010 01:49 pm (UTC)
I do so love Fugitivus.
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